Zelretch's Ruby Emporium
by BERSER-CAR
Summary: A series of one-shots revolving around different servants being summoned for the 4rth and 5th Grail Wars. However, everyone summoned for a single war falls under one theme. Current Episode: A Hypocritical Oath.


Wrote this to get it out of my head. It was REALLLY DISTRACTING.

If you guys can guess the servants, i will post the stat sheets at the bottom for them. I'm pretty sure i made every single one of them pretty obvious. I'm not putting the one i said out loud until three have been guessed though.

Now i hope to get StRS updated by thanksgiving... or update anything really...

* * *

Looking from atop his perch, Assassin gazed down at the battlefield below.

He had been watching for quite some time, calculating and relaying information to his master, Kirei Kotomine, who had been in hiding after his summoning.

Assassin noted things were not going completely as planned. The Einzberns had managed to summon a very powerful servant of the Saber class, who was currently putting the other servant on the defensive.

The Saber, a woman of Japanese descent who hefted a nodachi with both hands, was casually pushing the other servant, who if he had not known better would have thought to be of the Caster class, back against the opposing wall.

The white kimono she wore danced slightly in the wind as she seemingly teleported towards her opponent, striking with a slashing motion downwards through the opposing servant. The other servant responded by also teleporting away from her, using the strange instrument of hers to cast a bolt of magic to deal damage to her.

The other servant defied gravity as she floated above the ground by mere inches, gliding around the strikes of Saber and then responding by using a magical attack of some sort. Her weapon of choice was a floating string instrument of some sort, which made the most beautiful music Assassin had ever heard. He felt like singing when his ear devoured the sounds coming from her person, but he was a professional, and thus would refrain from doing so. Perhaps in another time, in another place, they he could have sung to his heart's content with the blue clothed maiden.

A peculiar trend was popping up, though. Saber and the other servant seemed especially good at healing themselves of injury. Saber was able to heal both minor and major wounds using a type of magic, while the other servant used a type of magic to regenerate any lost muscle, tissue, or body parts. It even seemed to regenerate her clothing, for some strange reason.

Assassin himself had been a dedicated medic in his lifetime, going from place to place, creating cures and helping the sick where he went in order to atone for his own sins. At least, until he had met Him, but that was in the past….

He also knew some of Archer's abilities, being allied with him in this war. He had thought it strange that Archer had been a medic as well, with a strange device that could heal when in close proximity to him, but he had thought it simply a coincidence. Now though, things had changed.

"Kirei, noticed trend?" He asked with his link. "Startling, no?"

He could hear the gears in his master's head whirl. "…..Yes. I have noticed. What do you think of it, Assassin?"

"Currently, simply interesting fact. Could be exploited if trend continues with rest of Servants." He replied. "We have upper hand. Priority target still Saber, though. Proving… Tough to eliminate."

"Continue with observing then. Try to find something to exploit for a later date, if you can."

Assassin nodded. "Affirmative."

And so Assassin continued to observe from his perch, high atop the crane on the docks.

Saber was starting to feel slightly annoyed with her opponent.

If she could, she would have fully unveiled the rest of her abilities and be done with it, but her master had expressly said that using her noble phantasm was forbidden until they had gathered enough intelligence on the enemy to the point where even if they knew what her noble phantasm could do, it would be moot.

However, what truly annoyed her was this enemy servant.

She was able to dodge most of the swings from her blade, and when she did manage to hit her, she was either able to use it to gain distance and heal herself, or counterattack with the strange noble phantasm of hers.

She made no sound with her movements. In fact, the only sound she could get off her was the sound of the music she made with what she presumed to be her noble phantasm, which seemed to be a piano with strings stretching lengthwise instead of keys. The dissonance between what she saw and what she heard threw her off initially, but she was starting to get used to it.

One thing she had learned from their first bout had been that none of her attacks ever missed, unless she got out of their range. That in itself was easy enough to do, with her having an ability that let her move extremely fast, but then she also had a similar ability, as well as several other abilities that either slowed her down or shut down her bodily functions for a moment or two.

She could beat her by outlasting her and outplaying her, but it would be a slow battle upwards unless she was allowed to use more of her arsenal. She was currently restricted to only using her vast array of healing magic and her sealed noble phantasm.

Breaking out of her thoughts, she flashed out of range of an incoming bolt of magic, heralded by a small tune played on her instrument, and then quickly closed the gap, using the time to aim for the magic user's side. However, the servant decided to play another hymn and used some magic to slow her down, enough so that she could move in time and counter with her own strike.

She used her sword to block the incoming attack, and then moved back to gain some more distance.

This was thwarted when the other servant launched a ranged attack which she recognized as the one which dealt a rather hefty amount of damage. It would have been easy for her to get away, had it not been for the other spell the other servant had cast that had slowed her down. She took the full brunt of it.

The other servant floated gracefully over, launching a series of magical missiles at her which created a hole in her stomach and her arm. She then quickly moved away when she knew the effects of both her spells had worn off.

Saber bled quite a bit. She placed a hand over the hole in her lower body and said hand started to glow a blue light. Irisveil, a woman who her master had put her in charge of protecting as well as her false master for the war, also provided her aid with a fair share of prana and healing magic.

Within a few moments, her stomach was back to normal and her arm was healing thanks to Irisveil.

"Thank you for your concern, Irisveil." She said. "Although I do appreciate the help, these wounds are trivial. Nothing short of decapitation will truly keep me from fighting, so you have no need to worry."

She was used to these kinds of wounds, and she had no doubt healed worse. The good thing was that although she had been hurt in the exchange, she was nearly fully healed already and she was still going strong. Her opponent, however, had also used the brief time apart in order to heal herself as well, which simply increased her frustration a smidgen more, although her pride would not let it show.

She continued to stare at the floating maiden, before once again rushing forward at breakneck speeds, continuing the battle of attrition she had found herself in.

Waver Velvet slammed the door shut, breathing heavily as he slowly collapsed on the floor, exhausted.

"Remind me why you thought it was a good idea to try and break into merlin's private library again?" He attempted to calm his breathing, slowly taking in deep breaths through his nose and then casually breathing back out. "And why did I agree to it?"

Waver was suddenly brought to a standing position by a hand pulling on his arm. The owner of the hand flashed a grin. "Well," he drew out. "When you have all of time and space to explore, you tend to want to do some crazy things once in a while! Trust me on that!" Waver swore he saw one of his eyes twinkle. "Plus, he gave you that book for all your efforts, didn't he? Wasn't too bad of a chap after all!"

Waver's eyebrow twitched. "He locked us in said book! For a laugh!"

"It was great, wasn't it!"

"No it wasn't! It was horrifying!" Waver yelled back, taking the book he was clutching and looking at it seriously. "If Arthur hadn't been in there as well…"

"Ahhh, Arthur… Who could have guessed he was a she?" The man turned to look at Waver. "She was certainly a rather pretty lady, wasn't she?"

Waver felt a blush creep up on his face, remember just how he had figured that particular fact out. "You know what, forget it. We got a book from Merlin's library, got to meet him, and we even met King Arthur. I say we just get to our next destination already… " He sighed. "So, where to next, Rider?"

The now identified Rider leaned against the circular console in the middle of the room, his ruffled brown hair randomly sending a strand here or there and his blue pinstripe suit and long coat oscillating as he turned his head in one direction or another, trying to figure out his next destination. "Well, we went to Arthurian times,-"

"Merlin nearly killed us."

"-Went to Pargon 5,-"

"We nearly got eviscerated by an entity of pure evil and suffering."

"-visited the slopes of Ginersh,-"

"The monk order nearly went insane upon seeing you there and then tried to destroy our only way out."

"-had a party on the HMS Wesker,-"

"It crashed into a sun that was going supernova. Everyone barely escaped alive."

"-viewed the defeat of Type-Moon,-"

"…That one went surprisingly okay until Zeltretch saw you after the battle…"

"-slept under the stars of Ridren…"

"Said stars were the remnants of an alien race that was bent on destroying all plant life in the galaxy…"

"Ah ha! I got it!" Rider giddily called out. "We go to New Revoira! Beautiful place New Reviora, beaches, mountains, the crystal lights, the twin suns in the sky…"

"Better not have anything trying to kill us there…" Waver muttered under his breath.

Rider waved his hand in the air. "Aw, Don't worry so much, We'll be fine! Nothing ever happens in New Revoira! It's been a neutral zone for conflict for centuries…"

"Don't jinx it already Rider…"Waver moaned.

"Let's get to it then!" Rider then started darting around the console in the center of the room, flipping switches, pushing buttons, before finally throwing one finally switch down and causing a strange grinding, wooshing noise to sound, along with a mini earthquake to take the room.

"To adventure, Waver!"

Kiritsugu had been about to assassinate the master of the opposing servant, but as he was about to squeeze the trigger, a strange sound started to spring from the center of the arena where the two servants had been fighting.

He gently released his hold, instead pointing his weapon down at the new factor in the fight below.

He could see what he assumed to be Caster bleeding slightly, although he could not tell if that was actually wounds or if that was simply the blood left over from previous bouts. Across from her was his own servant, Saber, standing with her sword out in her normal stance of one hand gripping the blade at a distance with the blade itself parallel to the ground.

Directly in the center of those two, however, was a strange object fading in an out of existence. He could not quite see it yet, but he could tell that it was becoming more and more solid whilst the noise was slowly fading away.

Finally, what was left standing was a peculiar box that he recognized as a police box from his trips to England.

His train of thought derailed itself for all of one second before quickly reorienting itself at the sudden development. He quickly retrained his sights on Caster's master, only to find that he also seemed to be trying to comprehend the situation.

He held up a finger to his ear, where his ear piece was. "Maiya, thoughts?"

A brief static followed before the voice of his subordinate came through the piece of technology. "Assassin twitched slightly upon its arrival. However, it is my belief that he does not know the owner of the box and it was simply due to surprise. I myself cannot seem to recall any recent tales of reality phasing police boxes."

Kiritsugu took in this information before responding. "Hold fire. Let this play out for a while, then we will regroup and initiate a new plan."

"Understood."

He trained his gaze back towards the battle, ready for what was to come.

Rider pulled the door and walked out, pulling waver behind him.

"Welcome to New Revoi-" Rider cutoff in mid-sentence. "Well, this certainly doesn't seem like New Revoira…"

He turned his head left and right, taking in the sights and sounds before reaching into his pocket. This acts was enough to break the two other servants that had been in battle out of their stupor and rush at the new comer.

Rider, barely having any time to react, grabbed his charge and leaned back, letting the sword aimed at his head and the stream of the music based mystery clash where his head used to be.

He quickly corrected his posture and distanced himself from the other two, managing to jump to the top of the blue box and pull out an object from the pocket he had originally been searching for. Said object was a metallic tube, about as long as a hand and as thick as one and a penny.

"Oy! That's not the way one treats a guy who just happened to show up at the wrong place and time!" He called out from atop the box. "Although, I suppose that's my fault. I didn't introduce myself after all. You can call me The Doctor!"

The now proclaimed doctor started waving around the stick, a blue light and a high pitched whining noise coming from the object. "Let's see… 1996, Japan… Fuyuki city! It appears we're right back where we started waver! Give or take a few days…"

"Rider! We're back in Fuyuki?! Then those two down there…" Rider observed as Waver peered over the edge of the booth, where two beings stood tensed. "You managed to land us in the middle of a battle between enemy servants?!"

"Well, that is a predicament…" Rider then looked down at the two ladies. "Let's see… Japanese origin judging by the clothing, samurai sword, a woman at that…. Healers hands too…" he turned his gaze from one person to the other. "Oh! A floating guqin! How curious… music based attacks probably… messing with the inner ear and basic human nature when it comes to rhythm. Skilled with it too…"

He took a deep breath before putting on his best smile. "Well, as my companion here revealed, I suppose that I would be the Rider of this War. However, I am one hundred percent pacifist, so would you mind coming to a truce so that no more lives would come to be endangered by this insane endeavor?" He tilted his head. "Trust me when I say that omnipotent wish granting devices are never what they appear to be and usually have loopholes or corrupt wishes in the worst possible way, so I think it would be best for every party involved to simply back out of this war and continue living life peacefully. What do you say?"

The maiden in blue simply shook her head in a no while the other responded verbally. "I'm deeply sorry, Rider, but I'm afraid I cannot do that. I am a healer, as you say, but I also cannot comply with your demands. I did make a promise to my master."

She pointed behind her towards a silver haired woman who had been standing in the open far behind her. He could see that both she and her servant had a determined look in their eyes, and so he sighed.

"Well, there goes diplomacy." Rider jumped off the roof of his blue box with Waver in tow. "But I am quite serious in my whole 'not fighting' policy. I'm more inclined to run away actually…Sorry for bothering you ladies, but for now waver and I have to go do some damage control…"

He shoved Waver into the box and backed himself into the box as well, but before he could actually fully get inside, a sudden crash rung in the air, followed by a series of footsteps coming from the origin of the crash.

Rider, Lancer, and Saber all looked in said direction, noting the dust cloud that had formed itself there. Suddenly, A man dashed out of the smoke, rushing at all three with incredible speed.

Saber intercepted the new combatant, stopping the man's hand with her sword, but the resulting force pushed her back several feet.

The new challenger had now stopped, standing tall with a crazed smirk on his face. The stitched up doctor's coat he wore was pristine, despite the dust that had surrounded him and despite the glare from the glasses he wore, Rider could see the insanity in his eyes.

"Seems we found Berseker. Rider, Why don't you go try reasoning with him?"

Rider could feel the mirth behind the words from Saber, but brushed it off. He knew that due to mad enhancement, getting through to anyone in the berserker class was nigh impossible. However, restraining them and removing the influence of mad enhancement… He could do that, given enough time.

He looked back at the berserker, who was currently twisting a large screw in his head and cracking his neck while spinning the tonfas he had been wielding in random patterns.

"Alright, Saber, I'm going to have to ask you to trust me on this, but I think you are a reasonable enough person. I'm going to distract him for a bit. do you think you can take him down non-lethally if I do that?"

A small nod was all he needed.

"Right… Guess it's time to run then…"

Rider took off in a blur, faster than any of the combatants had been so far.

He had a job to do.

Tokiomi Tohsaka observed the situation through the eyes of his servant, who had hidden himself expertly on a faraway building.

He had been relatively surprised that four servants out of the seven had bothered to answer to the female musician's call, but four had. He had expected the entire area to have been rigged with bounded fields to give the master of lancer (as he knew through his connection with the church) but El-Melloi had been cocky and had instead erected the basic kind to keep intruders out.

'Archer, can you see anyone besides the four down there?' he called out to his servant.

'Nein. Aside from Assassin, there is keiner.' A german voice rung from the other end of the connection. 'Sechs of us in vun place…vat are ze chances?'

'Higher than one would think, Archer…' He closed his eyes and thought. 'I believe it would prudent to enter the fray. What are your thoughts?'

'I vill vait until ze time is right…' archer squinted. 'Preferably ven Berserker has been taken care of or slowed down.'

He looked down from his vantage point to see Rider attempting and succeeding to distract berserker using his superior speed and that strange device of his to redirect magical attacks or cause mayhem for Saber to intercept and use her brand of magic to restrain him, but he was able to break those easily enough. Lancer had joined berserker, not of her own will as he could tell from the frown on her face, assisting him by healing him and dishing out her own damage.

However, Rider had managed to soften the ground under Berserker slowly, causing him to loose footing and allowing Saber to perform one of her binding spells.

He could tell that, even though it was a powerful seal, the bonds were already breaking rapidly and would soon fall altogether.

Now was the best time to act, he decided.

"My Friend, it seems it is time."

A deep voice called out behind him. "Very vell. Ve go together, Doktor."

"Jawohl." Archer replied. "Let's go practice medicine…"

The white dove perched on Archers shoulder took off as the two men ran forward onto the battlefield.

Caster watched the now empty battlefield far in the distance, as he stood atop the bridge connecting the eastern and western half of fuyuki city, tongue flickering out on occasion.

He had arrived slightly late to watch the festivities, but he had seen enough in the end to gather sufficient information on nearly every servant in the war, minus assassin.

He had seen Archer, equipped with a pearl white doctor's coat covering frame, not unlike that of berserker's, and a large device strapped to his back with a nozzle attached to it, waltz into the fray behind a bald behemoth who hefted a minigun with ease. He and his compatriot had managed to force berserker to flee and cause lancer to retreat for the day, while also giving the tag team of rider and Saber a run for their money.

Saber and Rider had formed a dangerous combination, being able to push Archer back and nearly kill him, had it not been for his noble phantasm.

The ability to become completely invincible for a short amount of time… That was the sort of power that won wars.

However, after Archer had managed to completely remove Saber's arm with a saw of all things, he had retreated, leaving just Saber and Rider.

He knew they had talked for a short time afterwards, perhaps offering an alliance, but he recalled Saber refusing with a shake of the head. Rider had then disappeared soon after, and then Saber had trickled out of the lot, leaving it destroyed in places, but not in such a way that it was irreparable.

He reviewed his notes in his head, after finally confirming that no one was left in the immediate area.

Lancer, for that was all she could be, was more of an annoyance, if nothing else. However, when paired together with any of the remaining servants, she became a force to be reckoned with. He would not underestimate her.

Rider was in a similar boat as Lancer, but he wasn't completely sure if he should group the two in the same place. While Lancer had seemingly exhausted her bag of tricks, All Rider had done was show his… mount… and that strange tool of his. Other than that, he kept most of what he could do to himself.

Berserker, surprisingly, had seemed to actually hold back during that fight. Perhaps a command seal had been used for that purpose? All he had seen was pure brute strength and not anything that could be counted as a specific trait. He had those tonfas, but all they seemed to do was multiply his already insane strength by a dozen. He was sure that that had not been all of what made up berserker.

Archer was exceedingly dangerous. He was able to become truly invincible, heal even the most grievous of wounds with that strange gun of his, and he had a thaumaturgy that allowed him to generate a servant class companion. He was sure that had not even been close to what he could fully do, so he would be at the top of the list of the most dangerous adversaries.

Assassin… he had seen assassin, but he had only observed, like he had. He hadn't been able to get much of a read from him, but he was sure he was just as dangerous as the rest.

Finally, there was Saber. Saber was, similar to Archer, holding back quite a bit. She might have been able to have taken out two of the competition with his guess of her true skill, but she had been holding back on purpose. Possibly doing what he was doing currently, except with a much more hands on approach. She was smart, strong, and dangerous.

But, he would be able to take all of them on with time.

He just needed to gather a bit more energy… kill a few more people…

He smirked at that thought. Killing. Hadn't he taken an oath at one point to not do harm?

Hadn't everyone summoned this war taken that oath?

A hypocritical oath indeed…

He pushed the frame of his glasses up his nose and brushed some of his silver hair out of his snake-like eye, before vanishing in a poof of smoke, with no trace that he had ever been there.

* * *

Archer:

Name: Medic

Master: Tokiomi Tohsaka

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral

Strength: C

Endurance: C

Agility: B

Mana: B

Luck: B

Noble Phantasm: A+

Class Skills:

B: Capable of remaining in this world for two days without an established contract. Also capable of living on for a short period of time after suffering extensive damage on his spiritual core.

Personal Skills:

Battle Continuation: A: Makes possible to fight even with deadly injuries and can remain alive so long as one does not receive a decisive fatal wound.

Noble Phantasms:

Emblem of The Team: A+: A small badge on Archer's Clothes which symbolize his bond with his team. This enables him to die a total of 9 times, with each revival bringing back a member of his team. These members consume almost the same amount of prana as a normal servant can, as well as fight on par with most other servants. These members, once dead, cannot come back, even if Archer should.

A Medic's Suggestion: The medigun: B (EX): The medigun can heal anyone at a constant rate, even from the most grievous of injuries. The medigun gives complete invulnerability from all attacks, even those that can kill gods, for eight seconds. While out of battle, the Medigun allows Archer to switch out his current weaponry with any of his previously acquired weaponry, including such things as the bust of Hippocrates and the crusader's crossbow.

Rider:

Name: The Doctor

Master: Waver Velvet

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Strength: C

Endurance: A

Agility: B+

Mana: D

Luck: E

Noble Phantasm: EX

Class Skills:

Riding: B: Most vehicles can be handled with above average skill. However, cannot ride the likes of Phantasm Races such as Monstrous Beasts.

Personal Skills:

Alien Biology: C: certain magecraft will not affect or be reduced when applied to Rider due to his alien physiology. However, it is close enough that most magecraft will work, albeit reduced in impact.

Pioneer of the Stars: EX: All difficult voyages and challenges which are considered "impossible" turn into "events that can be realized".

Noble Phantasms:

A blue Box: The TARDIS: A+: A blue box that can travel through time and space, the tardis is the Rider's mount. With it, he can tap into the time stream to supply him with an indefinite amount of prana and travel all of time and space.

Reality Marble: Gallifrey Falls No More: A reality Marble containing every single failure and triumph of Rider, from his companions to his enemies. It takes the shape of the final Day of the time war on gallifrey.

The name of the Doctor: Rider has had many faces over the ages, and so Rider, although in the form of his 10nth (technically 11nth) incarnation, he has aspects from all of his incarnations. Also, should he take a fatal wound and should his body not be destroyed, he can regenerate into any of his other incarnations, but only 12 times, one for each of his other forms.

Berserker:

Name: Franken Stein

Master: Kariya Matou

Alighnment: Chaotic Mad

Strength: B

Endurance: A

Agility: B

Mana: B

Luck: C

Noble Phantasm: C

Class Skills:

Mad Enhancement: B+: Rank up for all parameters, but takes away most of sanity. Do to Experience with madness in his life, Berseker gains a plus rank to this skill, giving him a greater boost to his overall stats without losing his reason.

B: Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected.

Personal Skills:

Mental Pollution: C: Provides a probability that mental interference magecraft will be rendered ineffective.

Harmonic Resonance: B: Berseker can resonate his soul with living beings as well as create an opposing wavelength to annihilate them. Because he can target the soul, he can destroy or affect a magus's magic circuits.

A+: Mastership of combat arts has reached the point of being said to be unrivaled in one's era. By complete merging of mind, body and technique, it is possible to make use of full fighting skills even when under the influence of any sort of mental hindrance.

Noble Phantasms:

The Calm before the Storm: mjolnir: C: Not the weapon of the legendary thor but a living being with the ability to turn into a tonfa, mjolnir has the ability to drastically increase the wielder's strength as well as shoot highly destructive beams of electricity. Mjolnir also has the secondary effect of lowering both mental pollution and Madness over a long period of time, until both have been reduced to E- in rank while keeping the status effects of their original rank.

Caster:

Name: Kabuto Yakushi

Master:Ryuunosuke Uryuu

Alighnment: Neutral Evil

Strength: C

Endurance: C

Agility: B

Mana: A

Luck: D

Noble Phantasm: B+

Class Skills:

Item Construction: D-: Has the ability to create non-magical weaponry as well as several specialized items involving the use of his own specialized energy source.

Personal Skills:

Disengage: C: Bonus effect of returning battle conditions to what they were at the beginning of the match.

Subversive Activities: A+: It is possible to disable nearly an entire military force before the enemy advances.

The Force of Life, Chakra: (-): Because Caster is not originally from this universe, he uses prana and converts it to chakra, a type of energy with which he can perform a variety of techniques with.

Noble Phantasms:

A body of Experimentation: B+: do to experiments done to himself in his own lifetime, Caster has gained a unique body with a variety of abilities, including the ability to grow and use bones as weaponry as well as collect prana from the air and convert it to chakra. It also gives him a high resistance to magecraft.

I have plenty more ideas written up. Hopefully, the next one out will be "Speak softly and carry a big stick." If you can guess what the theme o the next one is by just the title, kudos to you!

I actually wanted to stick my other F/SN story in this collection of one-shots, but i hope i continue that one...

so far chapter ideas:

Lie, Cheat, Steal

Speak softly and carry a big stick

EPITOME

War has/never Changed

I choose you!


End file.
